BUS ARRIVES AT BUS-STOP
Citizens of Blewbury were astonished last Wednesday, when, to their utter surprise, a bus actually stopped at the bus stop by the Barley Mow. As Blewbury has been cut off from civilisation for several decades now, and in fact exists in an unexplainable time warp of its own, the bus driver, Mr Andy Newfangledmachines, was somewhat surprised as well:"I were headin' for Didcot, as usual. Then I took the wrong turnin', and this weird little village appeared out of the mist..."
Some of the Blewburians waiting at the bus stop have in fact been waiting there for up to twenty years, remaining ever optimistic that one day a bus could arrive to whisk them off to the mysterious and forbidden delights of the village of Aston Tirrold - nearly half a mile away. The shock of actually seeing a bus caused one particularly elderly waiter, 105 year old Mr Ican Getitupreglarohyes, to have a heart attack. His daughter, 76 year old Mrs Elaine Throgsporten, commented that:
"It was the sheer delight of seeing a real, genuine bus that did him in. He's been waiting here for years, you know. He'd worn himself a nice little groove in that bench."
When asked to comment, the manager of the bus company, Mr Michael Ihaveaspoon, made this statement:
"It was a genuine mistake made by one of our drivers, and as such should not happen again. The residents of Blewbury will have to accept our sincere apologies for the incident, and continue to live their miserable lives with absolutely no public transport whatsoever! Ha! Aha! Muhahahaha!!!!"
All information in this paper is strictly unchecked, and is in most cases a complete lie.
